House To-let

Proceedings from the letting of this extraordinary house go towards sanitation in developing countries. To read more see here.

I wonder if the people who rent the place will be called looters.

Eleven things to do...

Somethings to do when you're feeling down. Not just low because of a bad day-- low on self esteem, low on energy, plain low on life. Its happened to all of us, to me enough times for me to statistically analyze it. Somethings I've found to work for me...

Disclaimer: some of the following may be hazardous to your/near-ones/dear-ones health.

Follow as is advisable.

They're not in any specific order because different things work in different cases for different people. (and its surprising how often we forget that!)

1. Music is the soul of life:

Music, music, music. Very simple. Listen to it, play it if you're so inclined (insert disclaimer). This really helps take the blues away like nothing else can. To those masochists out there who love prolonging that feeling of agony and wallowing in it, there's absolutely nothing better than (1). Mood elevators, mood thickeners, mood diluents, mood suppressants... your playlists should supply it all.

1) APC+ Chains+ Opeth+ Tool+ Katatonia+ Ayreon+ Symphony X

or

2) Death Cab for Cutie+ Belle & Sebastian+ The Beatles+ Hootie & The Blowfish+ INXS + Aimee Mann+ Tori Amos+ Bob Dylan+ Orange Juice

usually works for me depending on my kind of low.

2. Retail Therapy!

Several people argue over the efficacy of this method and yet more others about the moral and spiritual ruin it will eventually lead us to but I am of the humble opinion that they can take their faces and bury it in our shopping bags. Retail therapy works like a CHARM for me and for several of my friends and acquaintances.

Here again, are two schools of thought--

1) buy expensive. Fewer items, but go for the high-end price tags. Clothes, perfume, shoes, bags, whatever makes you happy. I have a friend who buys a shirt for each really depressing day he has and he actually remembers the occasion whenever he wears that shirt.

2) quantity over quality! (this is my favourite personally.)

colorful, inexpensive, almost entirely useless products. These are a few of my favourite things :-)

a. pencils

b. pillows

c. scrunchies

d. lip balm

e. slippers

f. soap (I have this inexplicable fetish for different kinds of soap.)

Just binge. Buy whatever you want to. The cheaper, the uglier, the more useless and the more colorful it is the better. Show the world and yourself money is nothing.

3. Eat/Drink:

Treat yourself to food. Lots of it. Either have a four-course meal at your favourite restaurant or go roadside-kadai hopping. Pani puri here, (a very dubious) grilled sandwich there, steamed corn near there, watermelon juice still further down.

Other options include beer/hard liquor which I feel are downers so you shouldn't be resorting to those. Whatever works for you, of course.

4. Sleep.

No more need be said. Doing 7 hours daily? Make it 10. 8 hours is your usual? Go on to 12. Sleep it all away. There's no problem that's gonna be as insurmountable as it was after twelve lovely hours of shut-eye.

5. Cook.

This is obviously only when you’ve had some experience in this field. You might land up giving a lot of grief to your kitchen and mom/roommate if you persist without rudimentary culinary skills. Try something elaborate, with seasoning, dressing, icing, you get it. It’s very tiring (in a good way) and takes your mind off your woes!! Plus you can do (3) after cooking. :D

6. Bathe.

A lot of your personal problems (with your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your friends, your colleagues) could be caused due to B.O. Even if you're not quite Smelly Billy it never hurts to clean up a bit. You feel immensely cleaner both mentally and physically and hence refreshed after your sojourn in ze salle du bain. A few ingredients for the perfect bath-

1) shampoo. Like a Mallu would say (in a considerably different accent) you haven't had a bath till you've washed your hair.

2) nice-smelling soap. (ref 2(2)f)

3) aromatherapy candles (if you don't think that's gay. or even if you do. *snicker*)

4) warm water. (this is a MUST)

7. A walk on the shore.

For those privileged enough to reside close to the sea, a walk on the shore at sunset/sunrise can calm most moods. However it must be mentioned that this is not an elevator, this is a diluent. In some cases it has resulted rather adversely in an urge to jump into the sea. In these cases restraint is advised. Death by drowning is not pleasant and your bloated body that washed up on a shore somewhere leaves much to be desired aesthetically. Try pills for a suitably good-looking death.

8. Chocolate.

A popular favourite over generations, chocolate (as distinguished from 'candy', 'sweets' and other such trifling and inadequate substitutes) is a sure-fire mood elevator. The more it melts in the mouth the more you can feel your problems dissolving away. Mmmm. Don't freeze it, but don't lick it off the wrapper either. It has to achieve an optimal consistency.

But let's face it, boys and girls. It isn't chocolate without cocoa. It ISN'T. Don't try deceiving yourself or the multitudes.

9. Doodle.

Doodle, draw graffiti, draw dirty pictures, voodoo dolls indicative of your professor being nailed to a painful death, whatever works for you. If you have crayons or sketchpens, Get creative! Maybe you can tack it up on your wall and call it avant-garde post-structuralist surrealistic art.

you can also try making a list of all the naughty words you know. In different languages. Categorize them alphabetically and cross-index with respect to frequency and context.

10. Cry (incl. of scream, shout, wail, bawl, etc.)

A good long cry never hurt anyone. Let the vocal chords and the ocular water dispensers have a party. You'll feel better when it's done.

11. Standard Lies That Should Make You Feel Better:

a. The race is not always to the swift.

b. You can only join the dots looking backwards.

c. Everything happens for a Reason.

d. There is a God and life is fair.

e. You are a fool to still be reading this.